WOMAN;YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE The GROWJOURNAL January - April 2011. Editor: David Dungji Chinke Contributors: Lami Chinke Gashion Bambo ISSN: 2141 - 9507 Published in Nigeria © 2011 by Engraved in Gold Media Enterprises +2348065721408 Bukuru Jos South, Plateau State Nigeria " EDITORIAL : Who Is The Woman of Substance? In a most controversial script The Right to be Wrong; Humanities only plea and the Key to Revival, which was part of what seems now an over-ambitious project, I had embarked on, in my efforts to engage the Christian community in a dialogue, through God’s ministry for me in writing; I had tried to tackle the issues pertaining to the state of the mind and how it responds to revealed truth. Therein I had resorted to dabbling with the issues of ethnicity and gender even as it relates to religion; this was merely to show how humanity is still struggling intensely with these issues. That was since 2009, little did I know that the Journal for Biblical Research in Africa – Sapientia Logos had treated almost the same issues. Gabriella Gelardini of the University of Basel, Switzerland in her article; Religion and Ethnicity wrote of the lady Eva Herman’s anti Semitic (anti Jewish) blunders on German TV. The article explored a much wider context though. Being high over my head on the theological educational ladder, I could not grab the much from the article as she tried to trace the German experience with ethnicity and religion. But I did get one thing from that article; and this was that - women while fighting the ills and blunders of masculine oppression and chauvinistic dominance, must also try as much as possible to avoid those very extremes which stem not from the idea that they themselves are extraterrestrial beings but in fact human and subject (just like their male counterparts) to those extremes and failures expressed in ethnic and gender biases. This to my mind was Gabriella Gelardini’s much applauded conclusion. " COVER : WOMAN; You Are Responsible! By David Dungji Chinke As we were growing up, we had an interesting view of our parents, we were much more closer to our mother but also loved and feared our father. This was because he was a very authoritative figure who did not tolerate any nonsense. In fact our mother would often refuse to do anything about our misdeeds, threatening to report to out dad when he came back from work. This was because she knew we feared our fathers hand. His punishment was severe, he would make us go on our hands and knees and give us a hot spank on the backside. These much dreaded spanks were not more than two or three at most but inspired in us much fear and trembling. Our mother would often say “if you don’t stop what you are doing I would tell your father; you know that his hand very well”. Once or twice, this threat would provoke a long gist on our various experiences with his dreaded hand. But though our mother was a softer personality, I can vividly remember that quite often she held my dad in place when he was getting frustrated and tired. Often she would call us aside and encourage us to pray for him and support him with good behavior. She was more than a pillar in those early days. My conclusion in the book The right to be wrong was that men should take responsibility for their homes and not blame the woman as Adam did when they fell. But in this article I would like to look at this from another perspective. From Acts 5:1 AC 5:1 Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. 2 With his wife's full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles' feet. AC 5:3 Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4 Didn't it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn't the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God." AC 5:5 When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. 6 Then the young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him. AC 5:7 About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8 Peter asked her, "Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?" "Yes," she said, "that is the price." AC 5:9 Peter said to her, "How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also." AC 5:10 At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. 11 Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events. Sometimes I wonder how those events would have taken place without the law intervening, I doubt if it would be possible in this time and age. But perhaps milder forms of this sort of judgment from the Holy Spirit do occur but hardly recorded. Ananias punishment was indeed instant, when he tried to lie to the Holy Spirit thinking he was lying to Peter. But what is interesting here is the way Peter handled the issue with Sapphira. He asked her personally if what her husband had said was true? He did not exempt her from her husband’s deceit. I, like many others have many at times fallen into the misguided tendency of underestimating the potency of the powers of a woman. Some people believe that the woman actually rules the world. The rest of us are just puppets in her hand to twist and to turn as she so desires. That while pretending to be the weak, helpless and subservient slave of the man in public view, in the secrecy of the home she wields a most powerful weapon that turns the man into a helpless puppet. Is this true? I think it may be blown out of proportion but there is some truth to it. I was privileged to research a tribe called the Bazungu. In this tribe, though the man is the obvious head of the home, the woman wields a power that is amazing. Most Bazungu families are polygamous, but they have a strange tradition. Men are allowed to steal other men’s wives even within the same clan. This is done only with the woman’s consent. Although sometimes her own parents are the architects of the process, it is often clear that the women use this custom to force their men to submit to their desires. One of the greatest problems the missionaries there had was that the women were refusing to convert to Christianity because they feared that their husbands would not be responsible to them anymore. One reoccurring factor was that some young men, after converting to Christ would turn back out of pressure from the woman, and threats of divorce. (Interviews by Chinke, Dungji David. “The Challenge of African Christianity.” Jos: Engraved in Gold, Grow Studios, Video DVD 2009. ) I will be quick to also say that the fears of the Bazungu women are very real and understandable fears. And because of this I was informed that some of them actually pressurized their men to revive the dying rain rituals of their village out of fear of a mass conversion. The bible most importantly does give us a few more examples. But not all of these are negative. Some have positive lessons for us to learn from, like the responsibility of Deborah the judge of Israel, Esther the Jewish Queen of Persia among many others. But now we will look at two scenarios that open our eyes to some of the positive and negative aspects of this power that women have, first is that of Sarah. According to Genesis 16:1; Sarah had come up with a smart idea to help God’s plan by using Hagar as a substitute for her inability to bear children. But apparently Hagar was not prepared to play substitute, she started despising her mistress. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, "You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me." The events that followed saw Hagar running away from the home. She later returned at the urging of an angel and submitted to Sarah. But this was not the end of their disagreements: Genesis 21:8 GE 21:8 The child grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. 9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, "Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that slave woman's son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac." This whole situation saw Sarah refusing to take responsibility for her own wrong advice. Though I also believe that God was punishing Abraham for his continued lack of faith which led him to heap on too much responsibility on Sarah; His attempt to escape death by saying that Sarah was his sister, was the first and his acceptance of Sarah’s suggestion was the second. But unlike the first instance, God’s reaction was to force Abraham to take the painful decision and take responsibility for his wife. GE 21:11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, "Do not be so distressed about the boy and your maidservant. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the maidservant into a nation also, because he is your offspring." The next example we will look into is that of Jezebel, Jezebel was the brain behind her husband’s idolatry and wickedness, she not only seduced him into wicked acts but went ahead to commit some of them and gave him the glory for it. A case in point was that of Naboth and his vineyard. Jezebel arranged for Naboth to be killed so that Ahab could illegally take possession of Naboth’s inheritance. Now this was a woman who was, unlike Sarah, very strong willed and took responsibility for her husband’s weakness. Jezebel could even go to the extent of personally threatening God’s prophets who dared oppose Baal worship, including; Elijah who eventually ran for his life. But her sense of responsibility was marred and obscured by her wickedness and lack of respect for God and hence the life of her fellow human beings. It is because of this awareness of the power God has put in a woman which can sometimes be misguided that the bible puts more emphasis on her submission under her husband than her qualities as a leader even sometimes over men as expressed by women like Deborah among others, “much to the disgust of certain feminists around the world.” (Agang, Sunday Ph.D; Notes on 3rd World Theologies, JETS) But while acknowledging these sentiments, we are still bold enough to note that: between Saphira, Sarah and Jezebel we see one common factor, all three took responsibility and went the extra mile to shield their husbands from shame. But among the three, it was only Sarah that God protected. Why? Probably as mentioned before, Sarah was used to taking responsibility for her husband even when in weakness he gave her to another man claiming that she was his sister. Having faith that God would intervene on her behalf – which He did – Sarah as the keeper of her husbands home and primary custodian of his heir or seed, in both situations was backed by God even when she herself lacked responsibility to say No to her husband’s action nor did she take responsibility for Hagah and her son. In her moment of weakness God became her advocate! Jezebel on the other hand lived a long life probably contributing to her son’s kingdom in the same way she contributed to her husband. But she died a painful and shameful death. In this generation we are often aware of the ever increasing need for more women to take responsibility – especially in Africa - in places of leadership position more than ever before. But we are often than not reminded that leadership is more than boldness and assertiveness nor is it smartness and cleverly devised plans and strategies. That with leadership comes responsibility and with responsibility comes sacrifice and with sacrifice comes humility. In a paper I submitted in one of my classes at school before I graduated from Jos ECWA theological seminary, (JETS) I wrote: “Pastoral ministry has become more to me than just church politics and elders meetings, or even preaching engagements. It means to me being able to cater for the spiritual needs of my family first, to be able to help anyone I meet who is struggling with his/her faith. It means being able to teach the scripture holistically and clearly. It means to me helping the weak and helping the strong.” Finally then; for that woman who will one day lead the people of Nigeria out of poverty and slavery, knowing very well that she is chosen from the so called “weaker vessels” of God’s creation, we dare to say boldly “WOMAN! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE”! David Dungji CHINKE is a graduate of Bachelor of Arts in Theology (Missions and Evangelism) from Jos ECWA Theological Seminary (JETS). He was once a vibrant member of NIFES after which He has been involved in various youth programs as a youth leader which include the Grace Communion International (GCI) YEP program, and now he runs a non-denominational ministry called From his experiences with a formally non evangelical background, and a subsequent powerful experience with evangelical Christianity, he has written 4 life changing books which will greatly enrich your spiritual life and library. The GROW Journal is a recent part of these efforts. He is Married with two children. " THE EAGLE By Gashion Bambo A distinct creature so high up in the sky and over the mountain tops she soars. Loving the higher altitude like never before, so strong and always on guard for her nest, bringing her subdued prey for her young eaglets covering and embracing them in the harsh winter weather. She flaps and swaps her strong wings against the mighty wind currents. The eagle - with her beak so strong, talons of steel made for the capture, eyes pointed so sharp to see from afar, just about anything of interest, she hovered in brilliant elegance. The eagle – day after day trains the young eaglet with love, care and affection. She feeds and shields them from any outside intruder. Hardly can her male pair be seen near her and yet she has only one! Shocking? Where are the males? You would be tempted to ask with all her beauty and regality and yet only one? The eagle - she never weavers, nor quivers, no shimmering. Never afraid of dangers, fighting all obstacles and winning all her battles coz God is on her side, no wonder she is the queen of the flying creatures. The eagle – she perseveres in all weather, she spanks and corrects her young ones on every mistake made. Then just without warning she throws her eaglets out of her nests and … Flap, flap, flap, goes the eaglet down! Down! Down! They go and just some few meters to the ground she flies down from the heights with amazing grace and speed to pick them up to her comforting nest. She throws them out again and picks them up again and again until they all learn to fly (the cruelty of adulthood). Suddenly without warning mama eagle goes into oblivion – what kind of a world is this and where is mama ? asked the eagles! This question is the age old question, oh the comfort of mama’s nest, have to be abandoned, because all have to leave to build their own nests, why? coz the eagle soars – it is the tradition !!! The Nest widens and she starts all over again. This article is what life is all about, and I do wonder how many more eagles of the women folk we still have in our contemporary Nigerian society: how can we build a strong and virile nation, where each one of us can boast of character and initiative like the proverbial eagle. The article is also reminiscent of the love of God for us; for when we are in need He provides, if we are in danger He saves, in hunger he feeds; in a happy mood he commemorates, in despair he comforts, in roads less travelled he guides, he is always there when we call on Him, for he provides us that he will Never leave us nor forsake us. Gashon BAMBO wrote this article first in September 2006. A graduate of Chemistry from the University of Jos, He teaches part – time and He is an active member of GROW and a freelance writer on various issues. He is single and loves football and politics. " Safe Motherhood;A Global Challenge By Lami Grace Chinke A single lady is an adult unmarried female. It is the most challenging period of a lady’s life. First because she is an adult, independent of her parents to some extent, and secondly not married. So she makes mistakes and handles problems her own way. She makes her decisions and faces the consequences, whether positive or negative. The decisions you make as a single will make you or mar you, because your future life depends on such decisions. In all life’s ramifications, be it career, relationships, marriage, etc. any decision taken is key to your future. As a single lady, you are a human being and all humans are created by God, the Lord God almighty, as Psalms 24:1 says: the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof; the world and they that dwell therein. Acts 17:28 a. says; for in Him we live, move and have our being. Meaning; there is no life outside of Christ, our maker. Also, note that the maker has a purpose for each of His creation. As large and big as the world seems to be; God created us each with a purpose and plan, he knows us even before he made us. So as long as you are in Christ, you are a part of His work here on earth, so never you think you are just there to fill the earth and pass on, or maybe you just want to make heaven, so you forget that God wants you to be a part of His work here on earth and thereafter spend eternity with Him in glory. Responsibilities of the single lady will form the bulk of our discussion in this article. Responsibility is simply what is expected of us; what God expects of us and what society expects of us. The much debated issue of whether we all must get married is made clear in scripture. 1st Corinthians 7:7… But I wish everyone were single just as I am, yet each person has a special gift from God of one kind or another. Verse 8, So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows, it is better to stay unmarried, just as I am, verse 9. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry, it’s better to marry than to burn with lust. I will like us to see beyond the problems of the Corinthians at that time, what Paul wrote was based on the problems they were facing concerning sexual sins. The most important is God’s plan and desire for you. It is of paramount importance to know whether you are called to marry or stay single, you can achieve your purpose in God as a single if you are convinced that is what God wants of you, and also as a married lady. From my own personal experience, having a relationship with God plays a vital role in knowing your purpose and calling, not based on your experience alone, love or what society expects. Many ladies choose to stay single because of marriages they see failing or they want to achieve their career and see marriage as a stumbling block, others want to remain lord of themselves and be independent of a man, these among others make some ladies take the wrong decisions. Remember, you can dream big and pursue your dreams, but NEVER forget the dream giver {God}.He has the best plan for you! I desired marriage since I was a teenager, but just before I got married, God took me through series of teachings about marriage, I didn’t see marriage much as a calling till God called me into it. Before then I saw marriage as coming together of a man and a woman, to be companions, to love each other till death do they part, to give birth to God fearing children and to be a model. As true as these may be, it is far beyond that. God called me into marriage for His divine purpose; to partner with my husband for His Kingdom sake, to be a help meet, in life and ministry, to impart in the lives of people as a model of what Christian marriage should be, to the glory of His name. Every single lady should inquire of God her maker whether she is destined to be single or to get married, if it is the later, the particular purpose should be known to her, whether now or later. Stories abound in scripture of single ladies who became useful to God and pleased God in their lifetime. One that comes to mind is Rahab in Joshua 2:1 , she assisted the spies that came to Jericho, sent by Joshua and she was saved at the end, though she was a harlot, God used her and transformed her life. She is even known to have married later and became one of the ancestors of Jesus. There are certain tips single ladies should take note of: 1. God expects you to love Him with the whole of your heart, mind and soul. This entails having a relationship with God and to be discipled by him. You need a deeper relationship and a daily work with Him. This means that your decisions in life depend on Him. I got born again in my early twenties but my relationship with God was not too strong, so I took decisions on my own and made mistakes with consequences, but for His mercies, I would have been something else. God showed mercy and called me into a deeper relationship with him which helped me move on and I began to make my decisions based on his calling rather than my own lustful desires. 2. Enrich yourself with the word of God, the manual for life. Let your life be worship to God, let prayer be a part of you as you walk the street, in the bathroom, and be conscious of your creator. 3. Be a witness for Christ in your single life, sometimes we young women do not feel it is necessary to deny ourselves of some youthful exuberances but this is most harmful to our lives. We must be moderate in our dressing and we must devote our bodies to God during the single period. 4. If you desire marriage or you feel God had called you to marry, prepare yourself for your husband, and pray to God to help you. Do not think you are perfect, before I got married, I challenged God to give me a man I deserved, he cannot groom me and just give me away to anybody. He proved Himself God by giving me a man after his own heart; a loving husband. 5. Single life is very important in discovering your talents and gifts in life. Also try to use these to edify the body of Christ. 6. Your career is of great significance to God, make sure it is the right place for you; so that you don’t waste your entire life in a place God did not call you. No matter how small or insignificant you see your work, know that it is important to God and you are there for his own purpose, whether it is work or school. 7. You belong to a nation; be a responsible citizen, remember to pray for your nation and learn respect for yourself and for others. 8. Be friendly but discipline yourself to put boundaries were necessary, especially with the opposite sex. Remember though that respect is the key to successful relationships. 9. Love yourself too and not just others, be confident and assert yourself. 10. Health is wealth, remember that you are what you eat, make it a habit to go for medical checkups at least twice a year. Eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and lots of water and exercise. God wants us to be in good health even as our souls prosper. 11. Remember that your family is your training ground for your own future family. Learn as much as you can. Our First lady Mrs. Patience Jonathan said “Oga no know first Lady oh” insisting that she still tries to cook for her husband and plays her role as a wife (NTA Network on the 11th of January). In conclusion, remember that the single life is a life of responsibility; Responsibility to God, yourself and the society in general. Do not use your single life to destroy others by insisting on fulfilling your selfish lusts. Paul the Apostle said in 1st Cor. 7:7, if you are sure you are called to celibate living, be aware of the challenges involved, can you curb your lust? if not, better accept that ring! If you are still waiting for Mr. right, wait on God and not man and pray for strength and discernment. The grace of God is sufficient for those who wait upon Him. There is a lot I would want to say but these few pages are not enough to talk on single living, God must help us to do our best to live in His light; in such difficult times. Lami Grace CHINKE, is a Nurse Midwife with the Plateau State Specialist Hospital presently on deployment to the National Blood Transfusion Service. She has been a vibrant youth leader both in school and in her local church, and is presently supporting her husband in his work at GROW. She has a lovely daughter and loves singing and doing her work. When you meet her, the first few words you might hear are: safe blood saves lives. <<  <<   >>